Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Note to Commuters

Your need to beat me to the next traffic light with a roar of engines does not encourage an increase in speed on my part. We'll all get there at the same time anyway and I'm not putting foot to conform to your ideas of the speed limit.

Likewise, should you choose to travel in the slow lane, do not attempt to move me to the yellow line by flashing your lights, gesturing or otherwise being rude. There's a fast lane for fast cars - get into it.

If I do happen to move over and drive in the yellow line (for your convenience), it would be nice to have some sort of thanks or acknowledgement for my troubles. Also, if I indicate to get back into normal traffic to avoid a collision with a cyclist, broken down car, pedestrian or tractor transporting grapes - don't speed up and try cut me off. Be nice, be considerate, and don't make me slam on brakes until you have the chance to push past.

You may have petrol to burn in your tanks, and thus be able to ignore speed restrictions and logical gearing behaviour. I do not - I will travel at the most fuel-efficient speed for my truck, which happens to be the general 60km/hr speed limit you should be keeping to anyway. If you want to speed, don't try involve me in it.

My bumper is bigger and stronger than your plastic decorative one. You will come off second best if you cut me off. If you need to know why, you're welcome to join me for a brakes test in Olivia. Ditto for creeping up the exhaust pipe. That rear crossmember will slice your bonnet in half without feeling a jot.

You do not own the road. Driving at speed and swerving between cars is not cool. But then again, there's generally natural selection applicable to your type... Pity it usually has to involve innocent fellow-travellers and crumpled metal.

In conclusion, all I ask is that you be considerate to your fellow commuters, and if you're in a Landy - for goodness' sake wave back.

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