Wednesday, September 26, 2007


I've been a single mom for nearly 15 years. During that time I've learnt that there is generally no-one else around to:

a) open jars
b) lift heavy things
c) change light bulbs

So I've ended up learning how to do it all myself or it doesn't get done at all - and taking pride in the fact that I can. I like feeling the muscles working, surprising the general public with what I can accomplish, and giving a good few guys a run for their money in their own domain.

Same thing when it comes to sorting out Olivia. I've wrestled some pretty heavy stuff off of her (one of which recently got someone very p'd off 'cos they reckoned I shouldn't attempt it without help). I've fixed things, I've adjusted things, I've boldly gone where some refuse to. And even if it takes me a bit longer to both figure out and achieve, I've done it.

But now and then I get very frustrated at being a Girl. At NOT being able to do things.

Case in point - Monday night. It was leaf-spring removal time, as the front springs were due to be reconditioned the next day. We started late, and it was a very difficult, dangerous job. I spent much of the time just holding a worklight, fetching tools, making mistakes when I misheard instructions, and hoping the truck wouldn't crush the boyfriend. It took a lot of willpower not to get under there and help (I'm used to doing it myself, remember, and not used to being an assistant) - but it would have been more of a hinderance than anything else.

I did, however, get given one job to do. Take off the wheels. And that's where it got really frustrating. I simply didn't have the ability to undo those wheel nuts - especially when the tyre kept turning around up in the air, balanced on the axle stands. I had neither the power and height to keep it still nor the muscle to loosen those nuts at the same time. And it made me really really angry.

Yes, that sounds silly. Yes, it was even sillier for me to want to burst into tears when the nuts wouldn't turn and the wheel did. And the ultimate in silliness that I got p'd off when the boyfriend accomplished that task so easily it made me look like a complete and utter idiot.

But these things happen. The truth is that I am a girl. And not a tall one either. Sometimes there are things I can't do, no matter how much I try. I'm not superwoman, I'm not the do-anything chick. I just have to learn to deal with that fact and not try to get everything right all of the time.

Then move on to focus on the stuff I am good at. Stuff that only girls do well.

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